“HOW MOTHERS CAN HELP THEIR CHILDREN OVERCOME YOUTHFUL LUST, CULTIVATE GOOD MORALS AND SERVE GOD IN THEIR YOUTH”
—BY CECILIA .A. UBAK
“ Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” – 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
Youth is the formative time in your life: The pattern of your life is being laid out in this formative time and that pattern is continued for the rest of your life. It is a very important and dangerous time, dangerous because this is when the child can be made or marred as they are most vulnerable. Therefore, as a mother you should be aware that you are like a potter, you have the sole responsibility to mould your child’s behaviours, ideas and morals.
Likewise as a potter, you will face challenges in your moulding and as a mother; you cannot help solve a problem without first identifying it and then understanding it. One of the greatest challenges of youths, with every passing generation isLUSTand the world we live in breathes it like air. It is rooted in the messages of half-naked models on the billboards, in the programmes on television and even in the literature they read. Now having identified this challenge, you must then understand it before you can help your child to overcome it. Lust can be defined as “intense sexual desire” but this not an exclusive meaning. As the apostle Paul admonished “Flee youthful lusts”; it can also indicate that there are special things of this nature that appeal to youths in a special way. The mind of a youth is one in overdrive and this is why the evil habits of life that people get into are usually from their youth. People just don’t wake up and have a bad habit; they started somewhere, whether from the influence of daddy/mummy or from peer pressure.
The keys to helping your child overcome youthful lust lies in2 Timothy 2:22:
“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart”
1.HELP THEM RUN
“ Flee the evil desires of youth”
The English Standard Version (ESV) replaces “desires” with “passions”. “Passions” refer to longings, cravings, desires etc. These fleshy desires are said to “wage war against the soul” (1 Peter 2:11). They gradually revolve lives and desires around created things rather than the Creator. As we saw earlier on, lusts/desires are not limited to just the sexual longing of the flesh it is also for things that can bring destruction. Often times, parents let things “slide” because they want to make the child their “own person” and so fail to provide the proper groundwork for what they need to mature to the next developmental stage.
You must help them realize the right path and that it is normal that as long as he/she lives in a mortal body these temptations will arise. You must create an atmosphere for your child to talk to you about anything. Youths are generally afraid to talk to their parents because they feel they will use it against them later. However tempting that might be, abstain from it or your child won’t open up in future. Only when you have this connection then you can help them understand how to flee; mentally, visually and physically.
Key point: Connect with your child to help them flee.
1.HELP THEM RUN TO…
“…pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace…”
It is not enough to just help them in fleeing from youthful lusts. They must run towards a new “passion”. The keyword is “pursue”, that is eagerly and swiftly running towards being like Christ, emulating the one and true role model.
Constantly carry them along at the family altar; you can rotate who leads the prayers each day and bible study as well. If you don’t create this atmosphere in your home, how do you expect your child to pursue these things? This is what Christ has promised us and we are to run hard after them each day knowing these character qualities are how we were created to live.
Key point: Create a Christ-like atmosphere.
1.HELP THEM RUN WITH
“…along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
They must not only run from lust and towards God’s vision for their lives, they must also run with other youths with this same vision. This is where you need to curtail the friends they keep. There are ungodly friends who play Satan-double and contradict the foundation you have tried to lay “did your mother really say you shouldn’t do this?” Therefore, you should encourage godly friendship. These friends should be those who “call on the Lord”, an expression for those who are saved (Acts 22:16; Romans 10:13). These are others who have cried out to God for the forgiveness of their sins from a “pure” (genuine) heart.
You can encourage them to attend conferences, seminars, workshops (like the annual teen’s conference) where they are sure to meet godly youth striving to be like Christ. Converse with your child’s friends from time to time and determine if they are helping them grow in the Word. If your child is afraid to even have friends over, you might be building up disaster.
Key Point: Help them foster godly friendships.
On the other hand, you can cultivate good morals in your children with this simple formula:
Morality = Respect
This formula says that the essence of morality is respect – for oneself and for other people. Respect for ourselves requires us to treat our life and person has having value. That is why it is wrong to engage in behaviour that can harm us. Respect for others requires us to treat all other people as having worth, dignity and rights just as equal as ours. It is the heart of the Golden Rule that Christ commands us“Love your neighbor and thyself” (Matt. 22:39). To say that the essence of morality is respect is not to deny that there are other important moral values to be taught to your child; values like humility, chastity, sacrifice and prayer should not be overlooked. You can develop good morals in your children by:
1.Setting a good example
2.Helping them take on real responsibilities
3.Promoting mutual respect
4.Balancing the level of independence, freedom and control
5.Lovingthem
“Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth” (Ecc. 12:1).God wants youths to give their heart to him before they get a wrong pattern of life. This is why he told the children of Israel concerning His law“Teach these things to your children, when you lie down and when you wake up, when you walk by the way, in the morning and in the night, teach these things to your children” (Deut. 6:7). He did that because that was the time to get to them. They need someone to direct them in that trying time of their lives out there. Instruct your child so that they will be sealed by the Truth before they go out in the world and meet all the deceptions of life. May God grant you the grace and anointing as a mother in Jesus’ name. Amen.
—BY CECILIA .A. UBAK
“ Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” – 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
Youth is the formative time in your life: The pattern of your life is being laid out in this formative time and that pattern is continued for the rest of your life. It is a very important and dangerous time, dangerous because this is when the child can be made or marred as they are most vulnerable. Therefore, as a mother you should be aware that you are like a potter, you have the sole responsibility to mould your child’s behaviours, ideas and morals.
Likewise as a potter, you will face challenges in your moulding and as a mother; you cannot help solve a problem without first identifying it and then understanding it. One of the greatest challenges of youths, with every passing generation isLUSTand the world we live in breathes it like air. It is rooted in the messages of half-naked models on the billboards, in the programmes on television and even in the literature they read. Now having identified this challenge, you must then understand it before you can help your child to overcome it. Lust can be defined as “intense sexual desire” but this not an exclusive meaning. As the apostle Paul admonished “Flee youthful lusts”; it can also indicate that there are special things of this nature that appeal to youths in a special way. The mind of a youth is one in overdrive and this is why the evil habits of life that people get into are usually from their youth. People just don’t wake up and have a bad habit; they started somewhere, whether from the influence of daddy/mummy or from peer pressure.
The keys to helping your child overcome youthful lust lies in2 Timothy 2:22:
“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart”
1.HELP THEM RUN
“ Flee the evil desires of youth”
The English Standard Version (ESV) replaces “desires” with “passions”. “Passions” refer to longings, cravings, desires etc. These fleshy desires are said to “wage war against the soul” (1 Peter 2:11). They gradually revolve lives and desires around created things rather than the Creator. As we saw earlier on, lusts/desires are not limited to just the sexual longing of the flesh it is also for things that can bring destruction. Often times, parents let things “slide” because they want to make the child their “own person” and so fail to provide the proper groundwork for what they need to mature to the next developmental stage.
You must help them realize the right path and that it is normal that as long as he/she lives in a mortal body these temptations will arise. You must create an atmosphere for your child to talk to you about anything. Youths are generally afraid to talk to their parents because they feel they will use it against them later. However tempting that might be, abstain from it or your child won’t open up in future. Only when you have this connection then you can help them understand how to flee; mentally, visually and physically.
Key point: Connect with your child to help them flee.
1.HELP THEM RUN TO…
“…pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace…”
It is not enough to just help them in fleeing from youthful lusts. They must run towards a new “passion”. The keyword is “pursue”, that is eagerly and swiftly running towards being like Christ, emulating the one and true role model.
Constantly carry them along at the family altar; you can rotate who leads the prayers each day and bible study as well. If you don’t create this atmosphere in your home, how do you expect your child to pursue these things? This is what Christ has promised us and we are to run hard after them each day knowing these character qualities are how we were created to live.
Key point: Create a Christ-like atmosphere.
1.HELP THEM RUN WITH
“…along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
They must not only run from lust and towards God’s vision for their lives, they must also run with other youths with this same vision. This is where you need to curtail the friends they keep. There are ungodly friends who play Satan-double and contradict the foundation you have tried to lay “did your mother really say you shouldn’t do this?” Therefore, you should encourage godly friendship. These friends should be those who “call on the Lord”, an expression for those who are saved (Acts 22:16; Romans 10:13). These are others who have cried out to God for the forgiveness of their sins from a “pure” (genuine) heart.
You can encourage them to attend conferences, seminars, workshops (like the annual teen’s conference) where they are sure to meet godly youth striving to be like Christ. Converse with your child’s friends from time to time and determine if they are helping them grow in the Word. If your child is afraid to even have friends over, you might be building up disaster.
Key Point: Help them foster godly friendships.
On the other hand, you can cultivate good morals in your children with this simple formula:
Morality = Respect
This formula says that the essence of morality is respect – for oneself and for other people. Respect for ourselves requires us to treat our life and person has having value. That is why it is wrong to engage in behaviour that can harm us. Respect for others requires us to treat all other people as having worth, dignity and rights just as equal as ours. It is the heart of the Golden Rule that Christ commands us“Love your neighbor and thyself” (Matt. 22:39). To say that the essence of morality is respect is not to deny that there are other important moral values to be taught to your child; values like humility, chastity, sacrifice and prayer should not be overlooked. You can develop good morals in your children by:
1.Setting a good example
2.Helping them take on real responsibilities
3.Promoting mutual respect
4.Balancing the level of independence, freedom and control
5.Lovingthem
“Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth” (Ecc. 12:1).God wants youths to give their heart to him before they get a wrong pattern of life. This is why he told the children of Israel concerning His law“Teach these things to your children, when you lie down and when you wake up, when you walk by the way, in the morning and in the night, teach these things to your children” (Deut. 6:7). He did that because that was the time to get to them. They need someone to direct them in that trying time of their lives out there. Instruct your child so that they will be sealed by the Truth before they go out in the world and meet all the deceptions of life. May God grant you the grace and anointing as a mother in Jesus’ name. Amen.
